But nothing screams “fad” louder than hearing something new about food.
Sometimes it’s related to losing weight – like the tapeworm diet. (Hmm, we thought we had a tapeworm which is why we ate so much.) Sometimes it’s about health – drinking coffee makes you live longer; drinking coffee will kill you. You know the drill.
Every time we hear a new morsel about food it makes our heads spin and somehow it makes us as hungry as Bethenny Frankel: “I’m eating like I’m on death row.”
So grab a snack as we explore the QuirkOut feeding frenzy about things women do to keep up with food fads.
No Thinking, Please
Amisha is the mother of three and a stock broker who spends her work day making million-dollar decisions about whether to buy or sell. (Hey, just like the way we spend our work day on eBay.)
Thank goodness she never has to make any choices about food. Her QuirkOut decision is to eat the Very Same Thing. At the Same Time. Every Single Day.
Breakfast is oatmeal with blueberries at 7:30 a.m. Noon is lunchtime for a salad followed by one square (only one) of Dove chocolate.
Then she spends the next hours watching the clock and waiting for snack time at 4 p.m. when she indulges in a vanilla yogurt and an Omega 3 granola bar.
Of course, her boss thinks she’s counting the minutes until quitting time. So he’s ready to make a decision about whether to fire her. Amisha, keep your eyes on the Dow Jones because you have hungry mouths to feed. At the same time. Every day.
The Diet Diet
Monica watches waaaaay too much Dr. Oz, which explains why she changes her diet as much as we change our minds about whether Ryan Seacrest is gay.
All the conflicting information about food has led her to QuirkOut crazy eating plans.
Last month she developed a fear of wheat after reading that the grain may be making us all fat and sick. That meant no bread, no cereal and no pasta, which for Monica basically meant, no food.
Next she made her husband go on the Paleo diet where he ate like a meat-loving caveman (and curiously started to wear a leopard skin thong. But we digress.)
Then there was the Raw Food Diet where you don’t cook anything past 104 degrees. It’s all about carrots and celery and beets, oh my. Which Monica realized, was just a different spin on the No Cook Diet she created right after getting married.
Since digesting all this food news, she’s too petrified to eat. Which makes it a win overall: she was scared straight into avoiding the grocery store and finally reached her goal weight.
But just who passed judgment on these carbs? Was Jenny Craig named to the Supreme Court when we weren’t paying attention? (It probably happened while we were busy counting carbs.)
Just for the record, putting marinara sauce on spaghetti squash does not taste like you’re dining at the Olive Garden. And pretending that mashed cauliflower gives you that garlic-mashed-potato high means you’re high on something else entirely.
Even Nina is conflicted. So her QuirkOut decision is that Monday through Friday she is religiously carb-denying and on weekends she is religiously carb-loading. Her scale isn’t too happy, but her minister is thrilled that she’s religious about anything.