Wikipedia says that the energizing effect of coffee was discovered by the Ethiopians. So be sure to remember them in your bedtime prayers — because you’re certainly going to thank them when you’re trying to wake up.
Coffee isn’t a drink. It’s a ritual.
First thing in the morning. After meals. When you’re avoiding housework or your nosy neighbor. You can get off the hook for anything just by saying, “I’m going to make a pot of coffee.”
Grabbing a cup of Joe really is America’s favorite pastime. That’s why the only person worthy of the hawking “Mr. Coffee” was baseball legend Joe DiMaggio. Good thing the slugger retired before becoming a national spokesman, or caffeine may have landed on the banned substance list. (Shudder.)
Fresh brewed, French pressed or reheated sludge (we’ve all been there), have a cuppa while reading QuirkOut moments about the things women do to enjoy their coffee.
DELUSIONS OF JAVA
Take Heather’s QuirkOut order: “A cup of decaf, filled half way.” Why? Because the other half is for cream. “Coffee is just a gateway drug for cream,” she says pouring the thick liquid liberally. Thank goodness she drinks decaf. We wouldn’t want her health to be at risk.
Or how about those folks who drink half-decaf, half-caf. What’s up with that? We can only guess that they start to fall asleep but the caffeine kicks in and wakes them up.
And you’ve got to love those Starbucks drinks with more calories than the Quadruple Bypass Burger. When coffee is put in a blender with sugary flavorings and topped with whipped cream, it’s really a milkshake. Hey, if you want to believe it’s coffee, more power to you, but we have two words of advice: Baskin Robbins.
ONE CUP WONDER
How we love trendy kitchen gadgets.
During the historic Latte Years, we felt compelled to own an Italian Espresso maker. These gleaming beauties were the trophy wives of our appliance collection. And they gave us a nice tax write-off when donated to Goodwill after admitting we’d never be able to operate them.
Today, single-serving coffee makers are all the rage. But the Keurig challenge is more maddening than running out of coffee filters. Where can you store all those bleeping little K-Cups that seem to multiply like spilled coffee grounds?
You can buy expensive carousel towers, or you can learn from Jenn, a blogger on Peas and Crayons (peasandcrayons.com). Her QuirkOut idea is to place the K-Cups in silverware organizers, neatly arranged so you can read all the labels.
Great idea, Jenn. But what do we do with our silverware? Guess it doesn’t matter, because once you’re hyped up on caffeine, you don’t care about eating.
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER
In the morning when we’re desperate for a jolt of java to speed us up, nothing will slow us down. We present Exhibit A, witnessed at Peet’s Coffee. A young woman, coffee cup in hand, took a ballpoint pen from her purse and jammed it right into the lid.
Was she taking out aggression at her ex-boyfriend or the inventor of Spanx?
Then we remembered fifth-grade science class. The bigger the hole, the more air enters the cup, which makes the coffee flow out FASTER. In essence, it becomes a Big Gulp.