Don’t you just love the proud new papas, pulling out smart phones to show off photos or (please God, no) videos of their kids.
They go on and on at the office about the cutest thing little Billy or Colton or Madison did. And they turn down a baseball game with the guys for Little League with the kids.
Yes, they’ve turned into mothers.
But we’re all for it, whether it’s Ben Affleck toting around baby Samuel in a sling or Brad Pitt marrying his baby mama because the kids kept asking why their parents aren’t married.
It just gives us a little tingle to know that fathers are filling up with the same impossible expectations we set for ourselves. (Or maybe our threats to find trophy husbands have started to work.)
Father may know best, but QuirkOut wisdom is better at explaining things women do to make Father’s Day special.
When we give gifts to our husbands on Father’s Day, our hearts are in the right place, but sometimes our heads may be in divorce court.
We hate to be so petty, but we have to admit that we play QuirkOut tit-for-tat when it comes to presents. So does Sally. First, she estimates what hubby spent on her for Mother’s Day, and then she matches it. Penny for penny.
Sally looks at it this way. If she calculated what it really cost her to be a mother — labor pains, sore breasts and lingering baby fat included — she should get a diamond tennis bracelet or better yet, a diamond tennis court. Then she’d happily volley back and keep the score at love-love.
JUST WHAT SHE HAD IN MIND
For years, Lizzy watched “Dancing with the Stars” and dreamed that she and her husband could tango the night away. Right dream, wrong man.
Lenny was so uncoordinated, he was lucky to walk upright.
Poor Lizzy. If she wanted to boogie at weddings, she had to coerce the nearest guy — a groomsman, a cousin or the unsuspecting ring bearer.
But Lizzy hatched a QuirkOut scheme to get them together on the dance floor. She coached her little girl to ask her father, “Daddy, will you teach me how to dance?” When Lenny looked into those big brown eyes, he melted faster than fondue in Switzerland.
Lizzy ceased the misty-eyed moment to sign them up for a class. Then she dipped a little lower by giving the lessons to Lenny as his Father’s Day gift.
Nice footwork Lizzy. We like your smooth move from the living room to the ballroom. Cha-cha-cha.
GOLF WIDOWS UNITE
The best way for Mallory’s husband to celebrate his role as father of three young sons is to spend the day away from his three young sons. It’s not that he doesn’t love them; it’s that he loves golf almost as much.
Golfing is his passion and, as Mallory explains, “It’s a mistress I can never compete with no matter how skinny I get.”
She gets teed off every time he tees off, but on Father’s Day she lets him play without penalty. It’s her QuirkOut concession. And it works out well for her, too. He’s so relaxed after spending a day on the links that he’s delighted to take over with the boys. And Mallory gets a few hours to herself.
This is one Hallmark holiday that makes them both happy. But stay tuned next weekend when there’s another round of fighting about his hobby. Sorry Mallory, guess it’s just par for the course.